I'm here for you
by artistic-old-soul
Summary: Summary: I love you, I always did, and I'll love you even after I'm gone.-Mondler fic.


**I'm here for you**

Summary: I love you, I always did, and I'll love you even after I'm gone.

Chandler sat frozen on the cold hospital chair when he heard the news. Monica was dead. For a moment or two he just stared into the wall, trying to process the information he had just received. However soon enough reality hit him. Monica was no longer alive, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He felt himself shake as his world crumbled down right in front of him. Why was the love of his life dead? Why on earth was life so unfair to take away from him the only thing that made his days worth living? If Mónica wasn't here with him then what was the point of living.

The doctor informed him that he could visit to say his goodbyes. He walked him down to her hospital room and pointed him to her wife's bed. He sat down, still in shock form what has just happened. As soon as he saw her, her far too pale skin, the fragile body, and her unmoving form he realized she was truly gone. He wished he was living bad dream, or that it was really just a bad taste prank somehow. But it wasn't. Monica was dead and he had to bear the truth.

As he took her cold hand, tears escaped his dull tires eyes. He would do anything to have her back. Damn it he would even give his life if that meant she could keep on living. "Oh Mon" he whispered to her hears. His hands made their Way to her face and as he caressed for One last time her cheeks he heard himself sobbing. "Why Mon, why?" his words quickly escalated to desperate screams.

Suddenly he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He looked back and found that Ross was by his side, a painful expression on the black haired man that made him look wasted. "Hey" he tried to sound as calm as possible. Chandler didn't answer back.

"Listen Chandler" Ross proceeded. "I.. Uhm…I'm sorry man, you know this hurts me just as much as it hurts you." The paleontologist quickly examined her sister's dead body, making his eyes more watery that they already were. "You know she loved you right? You were my sister's soulmate. She..." He didn't quite know how to proceed but he continued anyway. "Right before surgery, Monica gave me this." He pulled a letter from his pocket. "She told me to give you this in case that… well you know"

An uncomfortable silence sat in as Chandler shaking hands took the envelope. "Th-thanks man…" he finally said shaking his head as he turned his attention back to Monica. Ross nodded in agreement and patted the other man's shoulder as he made his way out giving Chandler the space and time he knew he needed. "I'll be outside with the rest if you need anything."

Chandler's fingers played with the letter, unsure of whether to open it or not. Fighting his own fears, he finally decided to open it revealing a hand written letter. It was her handwriting, he recognized, but it was shaky, and there were some wet spots. He realized she had written the letter right before surgery.

"My Friend, my Soulmate, my Prince. I'm sorry I didn't make it, but please don't blame yourself. You were the best thing in my life. You are a loving, funny and caring man and I couldn't have asked for a better person to spend the rest of my life with. I'm truly sorry I had to leave this way, but please promise me that you'll learn to live without me, I know it's too soon for you to think about this, but do it for me, okay?

Remember, I'll always be here for you when you need me. It doesn't matter that I'm not physically there, but I'll always be inside your heart.

I love you, I always did, and I'll love you even after I'm gone."

Chandler lost it when he finished reading the letter. How could this be happening to him? It felt like everything that was good in his life had to be taken away from him. Desperation grew stronger in his chest as he re-read the last line. His entire body trembled as he curled himself like a child. His heart was beating so fast, and his chest didn't expand wide enough to contain his sadness

"Oh Mon, why did you had to leave me?" He growled at her dead body. "Why, why why?" He repeated as he rocked himself. "Monica, just come back to me please" he cried desperately. "Please, don't leave me" his tears uncontrollably falling. "Please…"

"Chandler!" He heard someone saying his name. It was a female voice, but he couldn't quite place where it came from.

"Chandler!" The voice's tone became urgent. He then felt someone shaking his shoulders as if trying to wake him up. "Chandler!" It repeated itself one more time. There was definitely someone touching his face.

Suddenly he found himself having trouble breathing, as if his chest was constricting him. He felt his own body tense up for a moment before abruptly jolting awake as if hit by lightning.

To his own surprise, he was no longer in a hospital room. Instead, he was in his bed, sweating cold, and hyperventilating. He looked around, the room was dark, except for the soft light emanating from the night table's lamp.

"Honey what's wrong?" He turned his face to his side, finding Monica right next to him, worry written all on her face. It couldn't be, right? Monica was dead, it wasn't a dream, or was it?

He wanted to answer her, to ask what was happening, but he just couldn't bring himself to open his mouth. Instead, his eyes involuntarily closed again, bringing the darkness again into his soul. He knew his body was shaking heavily, but he felt lost and confused not being able to tell what was real and what not.

Panic rose inside his mind. Not only was he having trouble controlling his breathing, he felt so tense and lightheaded at the same time. It was like he has floating in agony not sure of what was happening around him. Was he at the hospital? Was he in his apartment? He couldn't tell, and that only made his already panicked state grew bigger.

Monica had woken up to the sound of heavy breathing and the tossing of his husband. She had tried to wake him up by calling his name but her efforts had gone unheard. It only was until she had managed to sit on their bed that she could take a good look at him to understand what was really happening. She noticed the contorted look on his face, giving away the fact that he was having a really traumatizing nightmare. Worriedly, she put her arms around him, trying to get him into a sitting position.

"Chandler!" She said as she picked him up. Touching his face, she repeated herself, this time a little more worried "Chandler!" No answer.

"Chandler!" Panic was palpable on her voice as her hands were frantically tapping his face in order to wake him up. For a brief moment he opened his eyes and locked them into hers. "Honey, what's wrong?" she inquired, but as soon as she finished his eyes closed again.

He was heaving, his breathing coming in short rapid and shallow gasps. Monica didn't like how he sounded, and she was starting to get worried. However, she couldn't do more than rubbing his back as she talked him back to reality.

"Chandler, sweetie, it's just a dream ok? Just try to calm down" She repeated herself over an over with no success. Chandler was in a panicked state, and she didn't know how to help him, and she feared he was going to pass out.

"Chandler, please, just try to breathe ok?" She motioned herself closer to him, still rubbing his back with one hand, she picked his shaking cold hands with the other. The moment she took his hands Chandler seemed to relax a little.

She continued to talk to him, faking a relaxed tone herself in order to calm his traumatized husband. Suddenly, she felt Chandler pressing her hand, a sing that he was acknowledging her presence. "It's ok sweetie, I'm here"

"M-Mon…" he managed to spit out with a trembling voice, titling his head in her direction.

"Shh, it's okay" her hands cupped his cheeks gathering the tears that were beginning to fall from his eyes. "Are you okay?"

As he let himself into her touch, he scanned the room around him, realizing he was in the apartment, and Monica was beside him. Everything had been just a really bad dream. "Yeah… just something I dreamed you know" His voice was still trembling, and Monica remarked how scared and vulnerable he looked. "It felt too real"

"Hey what did you dream about?" Monica inquired, still rubbing his back with reassuring hands. She drew herself closer to him as to give him some comfort, letting him know that he could count on her.

He remained silent for a few moments and for a moment she was afraid he wasn't going to open up to her. He placed his arms around her, bringing her closer to his chest. Monica felt his heart was still beating fast, a sing that the panic wasn't entirely gone. He clung to her like he was a child as the tears began to pour down like two waterfalls.

"I- uh..." he was lost for words. He didn't know how to explain her everything, and he was scared of how Monica was going to take the fact that he was dreaming about her death. He noticed how his hands trembled at the memory of his horrible nightmare, and Monica sure caught on that.

"Chandler are you okay? Please say something, you're kinda of scaring me you know" Her eyes were written with worry he could tell. He was scared, the memory of the dream still clung on the back of his mind. He took a deep breath as he prepared himself for what he was about to say.

"Mon, I dreamed that you died" He let it out in the open. "It…It was the most terrifying experience of my life" he continued as he sniffled. Monica looked at him, eyes filled with tenderness and compassion.

"Oh sweetie" her voice was mellow, somehow relaxed that it was just a stupid dream, but still concerned about the fact that Chandler was worrying about it without any apparent reason. "It's okay, I'm not going to die anytime soon. You're kind of stuck with me" She joked trying to lighten up the tension in the room.

"You don't know that!" Chandler shouted as he bolted from their embrace. "It could happen to any of us, you're just a human Monica. For all I know you can die right now in my arms!"

"Jeez Chandler calm down. You can't live your life thinking about death all the time!"

"But what if it happens, what if I dreamt it's just a premunition that you are going to die tomorrow. I-I can't let that happen. How am I supposed to live without you Mon?" He was nearly in tears again as he finished his statement. Monica looked at him, he was still all choked up because of that stupid dream, and she knew she needed to do something to calm him down.

"Listen" she began in a comforting tone as she took his hands again. "You're right, we can't know when someone it's going to die. It happens to everyone, and it's hard losing someone." He locked his eyes into hers waiting for her to continue. "But" she took a deep breath as she tried to clear her thoughts in order to get something coherent that would effectively reassure him. "But that's why it's important to live the moment. Sure, you can't know when someone it's going to die, but you can use your time with that person to enjoy them while they're alive."

"I..I guess you're right. I'm sorry Mon, I just panicked with the whole dream thing."

"It's okay sweetie. It happens to everyone. You should go back to sleep, you look tired."

"I feel tired" He emphasized, giving her a smile. As he smiled, she knew for sure that he was back to his usual self.

They both settled back in bed and cuddled to each other's arms. It was sure that they neither of them was going to let go of each other for the rest of the night.

Author's note: So I just wanted some hurt/comfort fanfic for this couple. I know it's all over the place but it's just my first fanfiction. Hope you enjoy it, and let me know if you liked this and if you would like me to write more stuff like this


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